The Front Porch (No Song Involved)

There's something odd about my front porch. This is not a new thing, as the front porch has been an oddity for sometime. Remember, dear friends, that the front porch is where I may or may not have been asked out by my downstairs neighbor in what was one of the oddest exchanges of all time.

Him (looking at grill on front porch): Maybe we could grill sometime?
Me (also looking at grill): Is that your grill?
Him (a bit crestfallen): Um, no.
Me: Oh.

And that, folks, is how one English major may or may not have been asked out by another English major. Awkward. Truly awkward. (And, for those keeping count, that's officially 752 odd exchanges I've had with members of the opposite sex. And, perhaps, 376 times I've thought to expand my horizons far beyong Liberal Arts.)

But, anyways, the oddities of late concern the coffee table that's on the front porch. Yes, we have a coffee table on the front porch, which puts us in the ballpark of white trash (though not so much as a deep freeze would).

So, this coffee table has been here the whole time I've been here. Until lately, it hadn't seen much use. Then, a couple of months ago, someone must have entertained on the front porch because I saw some candles on the coffee table. Three yellow candles sitting on magazine subscription cards, to be exact. Nice.

The next to appear on the table was a stick that had been fashioned into a little dagger-type thing. Very odd.

Just now, I went outside, and there's a big pumpkin sitting on the table. It's fall, so I understand the whole jack-o-lantern thing. But it's not a jack-o-lantern. It's a giantish, schlumpy pumpkin that doesn't even stand up straight. And it's sitting right next to the little dagger-type thing, near the three yellow candles sitting on magazine subscription cards.

I just wonder when this will end. Or, better yet, if it ever will. I mean, the coffee table is not very big and seemingly not very stable, so I'm not sure how much it can sustain. I will track this and make note for future entries...

Anyways, that is my front porch. It's weird, but, for now, it is home. Though I surely don't feel like singing about it!