The Greta

I am exhausted. I'm looking forward to finishing up my work and settling into my nice, cozy bed.

Today was a rough day.

It all started yesterday. Well, it really all started last night. For some reason, Greta started coughing last night. It wasn't just a little cough; it was a really deep cough. She would sleep and then wake up and cough. I hoped she'd be better by this morning, but she wasn't. The cough was still there, so we went to the doctor.

Well, the doctor (who was just incredibly sweet) took a look at Greta and couldn't really find anything the matter. But, she wanted to do X-rays to get a better idea of what was going on in little Greta. And then she said it. A cough like Greta has can be a sign of some really bad stuff.

Pneumonia, heart problems, Cancer.

Yeah, that last one really shook me up. I had to leave Greta there for the X-rays, and then I had to go to work. As I drove out of the parking lot, I just started crying. When I got to work (all cleaned up and not looking teary-eyed), I told my co-workers that Greta had to go to the doctor. One said that her dog had a similar cough and that it turned out to be Cancer.

Ugh. Tired, sad, grumpy, and still 5 hours of work to go!

Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. Greta is fine. She sleeping right next to me as I type this. She's a sweetie. And I'm so grateful that she's healthy. Now I need a good night's sleep! :)

Simple Sandwich

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love a good chicken sandwich. In fact, my love of the chicken sandwich is probably the most boring thing about me because I will order one whenever I'm at a restaurant that has a good one. Like clockwork. Like dull, boring, predictable clockwork. It's been a favorite of mine since I was a kid and my family would go to dinner at Oxford Street. A friend of the family used to tease me about getting a chicken sandwich at a steakhouse, but, to me, the chicken sandwich was that tastiest thing I'd ever encountered. Well, that and the 500 Shirley Temples I'd order at dinner.

For me, a restaurant chicken sandwich should have the following:

Warm, not overly seasoned chicken breast
Melted cheese (preferably a white cheese)
Bacon
Lettuce
Occasionally Onions
And (the clincher) Mayonnaise

Put all of that on a tasty bun, and you have the perfect chicken sandwich. And if there are fries on the side, oh heavens! I just pepper my ketchup until it's almost completely black and then enjoy. Oh, how I love pepper and ketchup. If you've never had that combination, you're missing out. It's the only way to eat ketchup.

The problem with my favorite sandwich is that it's totally unhealthy. That, and I'd rather not spend a ton of money on eating at restaurants. Oh, and there is no more Oxford Street. Sadness.

So, I started making a yummy, simple sandwich the other day, and I love it. Here goes:

Toasted bread (I like it healthy, so whole grain)
Sliced chicken breast
A bit of Swiss cheese
And (Oh, heavens, this is the best part!) Smashed Avocado (I told you! Amazing!)

So, I started making that the other day, and I love it. It's simple and good. Today I opted to heat up the chicken and cheese so that it was all hot and melty. Yum!

I probably have no future as a cook, but this is a step in the right direction! ;)

Journeys

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about spiritual journeys. I guess I'm always amazed at the paths that people take (or find themselves on) in their quests to find and know God.

But, I find myself even more amazed at the ways in which God meets people on their paths, the ways in which He provides for each of us who seek Him.

It's feels as if, along the path, God has always been there. And, when I look back on my path so far, I think of God saying to me,

"That feeling of emptiness, that sense of longing, that bit of sadness and ever-present wonder if there is something bigger than all of this? The feeling that you didn't even know what you were looking for? You were looking for Me."

And, then I just smile, grateful for a God who loves me enough to be that constant presence, calling me to Him.

Sunday Psalm

I have trouble picking favorites. If you listen to the radio with me, you'll hear me say, "Oh, that's my favorite song" more than once. They're not all my favorites, but it certainly seems that way sometimes.

I'm just as bad at naming a favorite Psalm. They're all beautiful. But, I always find myself going back to Psalm 62. It's one that you can just take in, enjoying the words and loving the hope they speak of. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Love,

Sara

Psalm 62

1 My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.

2 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

3 How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

4 They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
Selah

5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

7 My salvation and my honor depend on God [a] ;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah

9 Lowborn men are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie;
if weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.

10 Do not trust in extortion
or take pride in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.

11 One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong,

12 and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Surely you will reward each person
according to what he has done.

Oh, the Break!

First, I must start by saying that I smell amazing, and my toes have never looked cuter. I'm not bragging because I have absolutely nothing to do with those things; they're only owing to a fantastic Christmas present of yummy smelling bath things and to my mom who treated me to a wonderful pedicure at this new place.

I wish I knew the name of the place because the people who work there are so very sweet and do such a great job. Seriously, this is the best pedicure I've ever had, and the price is really reasonable. I actually pretty much hate having pedicures, and I almost never do it because it's too pricey and because I figure I can make my toes look pretty decent on my own. But, for the occasional splurge, I'd definitely go back to this place.

I guess all of that silliness is to say that my Christmas break has been pretty nice (and, currently, nice smelling). There have been fun things to do, family to see, cookies and assorted treats to bake, and an all-around good time to be had. I especially loved the annual family sing along, even if we didn't get to sing all the verses of my favorite songs. :)

Nevertheless, it was a great time, and I'm looking forward to the rest of my break and to seeing just how long I stick to my resolutions. There's this pesky one about being organized and creating some sort of schedule. Um, feel free to take bets on that one. Odds are against me, but I'm going to prove the odds makers all wrong.

Love,

Sara

PS: I've been listening to Emiliana Torrini a bit lately. She has, perhaps, the sweetest voice ever, and, though I haven't listened to a ton of her stuff, I'd recommend checking her out.

The Future is Island Chains

Lately, I've been on a music kick. I've been finding a lot of new music and rediscovering a lot of old music that I hadn't listened to for some time but still really love. It's always amazing to me the ways that certain songs will really just grab my attention, force me to listen, make me think about what's going on in the lyrics or just really feel the way the music sounds.

There are some songs that I come back to again and again, and there are other songs that I never listen too, not because I don't like them anymore or because I've grown tired of them but because there's something in them that's just too personal or too sad. An example. I can't listen to Elliott Smith for just that reason. There's just something too sad in his voice, something too melancholy.

And, I guess this has me thinking that there are reasons why certain songs affect us in certain ways. Isn't it that there's something in the song that speaks to something in us? It isn't just those abstract ideas of love or loss that we find appealing or moving; it's that we feel or have felt those things. It's that there is something inside of us that resonates with the song because, in some way, we know those feelings.

It's just kind of a reminder that, even in something that may seem solitary (like listening to music alone), I'm sort of not alone. I kind of like this idea.

I guess I like this idea because I've never been someone who easily relates to people. I know that sounds just awful. It's really not so bad; I just mean that I often try to go it alone. I don't want help. But, if there's anything that I've learned over the last few years, it's that going it alone just isn't an option. I need, we all need, people around us to help us grow, to share our lives with, to love and be loved by.

I think nothing has taught me this more than growing in faith. I look back on my spiritual journey to this point, and I see so much of it as a path I walked alone. I see myself sitting alone on a pew at a church where I knew nobody, taking in the sermon and enjoying this singing but being sort of an island with nothing and nobody touching me. But, in the words of Jon Bon Jovi, "No man is an island." It applies to women too, and it especially applies to spirituality. Now I just see so much the difficulty of growing in a faith alone. It seems that, as much as I love the idea of running off and being a contemplative living a cloistered existence, there's just no way to grow that way. There's just no way to understand how faith looks lived in the lives of other believers and how their experiences can inform my own spiritual growth.

So, perhaps I'll always be a bit of an island; only children are a bit that way. But, I'm moving toward the idea of the island chain. It seems the island chain really must be the future if all of us individuals are to amount to anything together as one unified Body.

[Note: If you can name the movie I stole from in this post, I'll buy you a cup of coffee. I promise I only stole a small bit, just because that one line makes me smile.]

[Note Part Two: I've got a ton of good music recommendations, if anyone is interested. First off, I have to say that Horse Feathers is a great band, and "Curs in the Weeds" is one of my new favorite songs.]

Love,

Sara

Prayer

The other day I was praying, thinking about the season and all that it means. For some reason, I started thinking about Mary. Perhaps it's because I've been listening to a mix of Christmas songs that I made, and one of the songs is "Breath of Heaven," a beautifully moving song that's sung from Mary's point of view.

It's one of my favorite songs, and I love it precisely because it makes me think of how difficult it must have been to be Mary, to feel worthy of all that she was called to, to understand how to carry and mother the baby who was God incarnate. And, when I listen to that song, I think of how I often feel as she must have felt because, in some ways, we're all called to carry Christ. I'm called to do that, unworthy as I often feel.

And yet, the other day as I was praying, I thought beyond those feelings of unworthiness to focus on how indescribable it must have felt for Mary to know who she was giving birth to. Obviously, I've never given birth, but I tried to think about what that must have been like to know how close she was to God.

I sort of marveled at it for a moment. I tried to picture it. Tried to grasp the enormity of that moment. And then I realized that, along with those feelings of doubt and uncertainty, there is also a great feeling of peace, of love and joy, that comes with a closeness to God. And, though I cannot know the feeling of the exact kind of relationship that Mary had to Christ, there is something so beautiful, so truly wonderful about the connection to Christ through prayer.

Love,

Sara

Inside the Mind of a Blogger...

My boss is really into Meyers-Briggs Personality testing. My friend Sabrina is the same way. And, though I know that Meyers-Briggs isn't even considered reliable by many psychologists, I have to admit that it's my guilty pleasure.

Now, I'm not super obsessed with it or anything; I just think that, after I took a test years ago, the description of my personality type was eerily on target. As in, I couldn't have said it better if I wrote it my own dadgum self. Seriously.

Well, hilariously, now this test can be applied to blogs. Oi. So, of course I had to see what my blog-personality is! Blog-sonality? Perso-blog-anity? Man, it just won't work this time!

Anyways, I did the blog test using both the entire blog address and a modified address using archived posts. You can do it to. Just click here. Here's what I got:

INFP - The Idealists (This was for the archived posts)

The meaning-seeking and unconventional type. They are especially attuned to making sure their beliefs and actions are congruent. They often develop a passion for the arts or unusal forms of self-expression.

They enjoy work that are aligned to their deeply felt values and tend to strongly dislike the more practical and mundane forms of tasks. They can enjoy working alone for long periods of time and are happiest when they can immerse themselves in personally meaningful projects.

INTP - The Thinkers (This was for the whole blog address)

The logical and analytical type. They are especially attuned to difficult creative and intellectual challenges and always look for something more complex to dig into. They are great at finding subtle connections between things and imagine far-reaching implications.

They enjoy working with complex things using a lot of concepts and imaginative models of reality. Since they are not very good at seeing and understanding the needs of other people, they might come across as arrogant, impatient and insensitive to people that need some time to understand what they are talking about.

Your Opinions???

Seriously, which do you think is more like me? I know what my "real" personality type is, so take your best guess! ;)

Much love (Like, seriously, tons of love and best wishes and hugs and kisses and such),

Sara

Little Blog

Just a little blog to share something I think is funny. Greta snores. My tiny, seven-pound dog sounds like a chainsaw. It's awful. And it makes me laugh. Fortunately, it doesn't wake me up, because that would not make me laugh.

Also, I'm nearing the end of the semester. Lots of thoughts/emotions/feelings about that. It's been a really great semester--a lot of changes, a lot of new people, a lot of new things learned. As for things unlearned? I hate documentation styles, and I'm pretty sure that I did my best to avoid thinking about them as much as is possible for someone who both teaches composition and works at a writing center. But, I try my best to help those who really want to know how to use MLA properly. And, I try my best to stay awake while doing so. ;)

In other news, I've been super busy with work but managing to fit in having a life. In short, life is good.

Loves,

Sara

Procrastination

I'm supposed to be grading. Actually, I'm supposed to have been grading for the past few weeks.

And yet.

And yet.

Here I am, with so many ungraded papers it's making my head spin! The truth of it is that these papers are very easy to grade. They take almost no time at all to grade, in fact. But, despite how quickly I can grade them, there's just something about grading them all in one shot that's starting to making my brain turn to mush.

So I bought a CD off iTunes.

The fact is, I needed something new to listen to, some new stimulus for me weary old brain. So, I bought a CD by Andrew Osenga. I just learned about him yesterday, and I'm glad I did. He's got a nice, folky sound. Good lyrics. Clean sounds, nothing too muddled or overproduced. I like that. His voice kind of reminds me of Ryan Adams. I like that as well.

Check him out, people!

:)

Sara

The Day After

So, the election's over, and we know who won. I have to say that, as someone who believes in the sanctity of life, it makes me sad to know that we've just put into office the candidate who has promised to sign FOCA. That we've elected someone who puts that as a top priority.

Those things bother me. They bother me deeply.

And yet, I'm not overcome. I voted for life, and that's really all I could do. And, when I really think about it, I know that we can never craft a legislation that will change hearts. All that the law does is limit availability; it doesn't speak to the deep needs of women who are facing a pregnancy that they feel so unprepared for and overwhelmed by.

Only love can speak to those needs. And so, we will pray.

We may even give praise. Praise to a God who loves us. Praise to a God who is still almighty. Praise to a God who knows our hearts, our hurts, and our needs.

"Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost."

Let us be catholic.

I have a confession.

Sometimes movies make me cry. I know that this shouldn't come as any big surprise, and I'm sure most anyone reading this has had those moments. Maybe it was Beaches or Steel Magnolias. Those are real tear-jerkers. And they made me cry too.

But, there's something else that really gets me. It's those movie scenes where people come together, where there is some moment when people must come together for the greater good despite their differences. Those scenes get me every single time.

The other night, I went to a worship service. I stood outside in the night air, illuminated by candlelight. I stood there with other believers, both Catholic and Protestant, and we sang and praised God together. We asked for His blessings, for His mercy. And, together, we recited the Apostles' Creed. It's difficult to describe the feeling I got while confessing those words alongside others who believe them so strongly, so beautifully.

Together we confessed,

"I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth: And in Jesus Christ his only Son, our Lord; who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of the virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead, and buried; he descended into hell; the third day he rose again from the dead; he ascended into heaven, and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty; from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Ghost; the holy catholic church; the communion of saints; the forgiveness of sins; the resurrection of the body; and the life everlasting. Amen"

Despite theological differences, we were, each of us, able to say these words not only with our mouths but in our hearts. And, it is the belief in those words, in the great gift of life made possible by the death of Christ, that led each of us to the spot where we were standing that evening.

That night was part of a prayer vigil focused on the sanctity of life. We were gathered together in a common belief that life is precious, that even the smallest human life is deserving of our love and support, of our prayers and our dedication to a common good that cannot deny that life a chance to be born.

And it is that belief in the sanctity of life which led Bishop Kevin Farrell and Bishop Kevin Vann to write a joint statement to the Faithful of the Dioceses of Dallas and Fort Worth; this statement is a further explanation of a previous statement by the Bishops of the United States. These two men have written this statement to instruct Catholic voters, but, as I read their statement, I couldn't help but believe that its words are true for all who confess the Creed, as each of us is indebted to a God who is the Author of Life.

They write:

"As Pope John Paul II clearly states:

"Disregard for the right to life, precisely because it leads to the killing of the person whom society exists to serve, is what most directly conflicts with the possibility of achieving the common good... It is impossible to further the common good without acknowledging and defending the right to life, upon which all the other inalienable rights of individuals are founded and from which they develop..." (The Gospel of Life, 72; 101)

Therefore, we cannot make more clear the seriousness of the overriding issue of abortion – while not the "only issue" – it is the defining moral issue, not only today, but of the last 35 years. Since the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973, more than 48 million innocent lives have been lost. Each year in our nation more than one million lives are lost through legalized abortion. Countless other lives are also lost through embryonic stem cell research. In the coming months our nation will once again elect our political leaders. This electoral cycle affords us an opportunity to promote the culture of life in our nation. As Catholics we are morally obligated to pray, to act, and to vote to abolish the evil of abortion in America, limiting it as much as we can until it is finally abolished.

As Catholics we are faced with a number of issues that are of concern and should be addressed, such as immigration reform, healthcare, the economy and its solvency, care and concern for the poor, and the war on terror. As Catholics we must be concerned about these issues and work to see that just solutions are brought about. There are many possible solutions to these issues and there can be reasonable debate among Catholics on how to best approach and solve them. These are matters of "prudential judgment." But let us be clear: issues of prudential judgment are not morally equivalent to issues involving intrinsic evils. No matter how right a given candidate is on any of these issues, it does not outweigh a candidate's unacceptable position in favor of an intrinsic evil such as abortion or the protection of "abortion rights."

As Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship states:

"The direct and intentional destruction of innocent human life from the moment of conception until natural death is always wrong and is not just one issue among many. It must always be opposed." (28)

Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship, in paragraphs 34-37, addresses the question of whether it is morally permissible for a Catholic to vote for a candidate who supports an intrinsic evil – even when the voter does not agree with the candidate's position on that evil. The only moral possibilities for a Catholic to be able to vote in good conscience for a candidate who supports this intrinsic evil are the following:

a. If both candidates running for office support abortion or "abortion rights," a Catholic would be forced to then look at the other important issues and through their vote try to limit the evil done; or,

b. If another intrinsic evil outweighs the evil of abortion. While this is sound moral reasoning, there are no "truly grave moral" or "proportionate" reasons, singularly or combined, that could outweigh the millions of innocent human lives that are directly killed by legal abortion each year.

To vote for a candidate who supports the intrinsic evil of abortion or "abortion rights" when there is a morally acceptable alternative would be to cooperate in the evil – and, therefore, morally impermissible."

Anyone who knows me knows that politics is my least favorite topic, and yet, for me, abortion isn't just a political issue. It's an issue which speaks to our belief in life and its value. It's an issue which sees those who are faced with it at their most vulnerable, and it's an issue which asks us, as those who love and believe in God, to reach out, to see Jesus in each and every person, even those who have yet to be born. It's an issue which tests how we will choose to treat "the least of these."

So, in this election, let us be catholic. Not necessarily in the sense of being a part of the Roman Catholic Church, but in keeping with the meaning of the word catholic. Let us include all who trust in Christ, and let us be the Body of Christ here on earth.

Love,

Sara

Send Me!

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Isaiah 6:8

I love that verse. Maybe because, reluctant as I am to admit this, I'm a romantic, and I love the idea of having some great purpose, some great mission, some great reason for being. And, that's part of it.

But, I also love that verse because it makes me think of the million little ways that we can say, "Here am I. Send me!"

Not too long ago, I was reading an article written by a priest, and he was saying that, because we are the Body of Christ here on earth, we are called to minister to those who need help, those who are troubled and hurting.

I think we start doing that when we begin listening for God's voice, when we start looking for those million little ways that He can use us, those million little ways He can work through us, using us as His hands and feet, eyes and ears. We become the means by which God's love is carried to those who need it when we hear Him and answer, "Here am I. Send me!"

By the way, I've never written about this before, but usually when I write, I'll listen to one song over and over. Often my writing is inspired by something I've been listening to. The other night I went to a praise and worship gathering (which, incidentally, involved the police, though no arrests were made), and we sang this song. I'd never heard it before, but with all those people coming together, it was just beautiful. This is definitely a song that is a prayer. It's beautiful, and I listened to it while writing tonight. If you want to check out the song, it's by the Robbie Seay Band. Download it immediately, and then commence with prayer and meditation. :)

Oh, my God
Shine Your light on us
That we might live

I've been holding on
I've been holding on
All that is inside me
Screams to come back home

If you feel lost
If you feel lost
Sing along
If you feel tired
If you feel tired
Sing along

If you feel lost and tired
This is your song

My Friday Night

I had a wild and crazy Friday night. I babysat.

That's right, folks. I was left alone with and in charge of a two year old. And we're both still doing fine!

It was a lot of fun, actually. We watched Cars and danced when the music was fun. Apparently, there are certain parts of the movie that you're supposed to dance during. Who knew?

Anyways, it was a fun time, even though I had no luck getting him to go to sleep. Baby John always has funny things to say, so I'll leave you with this gem,

"I don't eat dogs. I eat vegetables."

(By the way, I promise that I didn't make him view any PETA videos on animal cruelty. He just came up with that on his own.)

:)

Sara

I Like This

A quote from a book I've been reading, a prayer:

"Dear Lord, grant me the grace of wonder. Surprise me, amaze me, awe me in every crevice of Your Universe. Delight me to see how Your Christ plays in ten thousand places, lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not His, to the Father through the features of men's faces. Each day enrapture me with Your marvelous things without number. I do not ask to see the reason for it all; I ask only to share the wonder of it all."

Beautiful, right?

I thought about that today, thinking over the wonder of life and birth and death. And how important that wonder is. How necessary that I, that you, that we still stand amazed at the wonder of all that is around us. Of the beauty of life. Of the worth and sanctity of life. That we consider that wonder in the large things and even the small.

So, perhaps we pray a little more. Maybe we care a little more. We wonder a little more at this gift that is life. And maybe that makes us love each other just a bit more.

This Weekend

Well, this weekend was a ton of fun. I went to Oklahoma, surprised my aunt, and ran in the Race for the Cure. It was great because there were so many family and friends there to encourage my aunt, and I think it made her feel good to know so many people care. Plus, she got an awesome (pink and black) cake for her birthday, and I was more than happy to have a piece of that! :)

While I was in OK, I (of course) took a little time to shop and got some great shoes. Comfy, classic, perfect to go with my suit in case I ever have to find a job. I say that like I don't work, but I do work. Pretty much all the time. And you know what? I think I like working a lot. True, it does take some getting used to because it's way different than the sort of schedule I'd been accustomed to as a grad student, but, as I'm getting used to it, I'm really liking that I get to go to work and meet up with my super wonderful co-workers and get to see my students. It's good times!

Oh, back to Oklahoma. I found this cool pet shop there. They sell dog treats and food and accoutrement. The food is all really healthy for the pups, and, judging by the reactions I've gotten so far, dogs really love eating healthy. So long as healthy involves such tasty things as lamb and sweet potato stew and buffalo gravy over regular dog food. What four-legged friend wouldn't love that? Greta's in heaven with all these treats!

Anyways, those are the goings on here!

Love!

Sara

Sound of Melodies

I have this memory that I keep coming back to. It's the memory of leaving San Salvador, and when I think of it, I want so much to go back, to see the kids, to know how they are doing.

When I left San Salvador, we loaded up the van with probably more children than would be allowed in the US. We were all very cozily situated for the trip, but I was so glad that so many of the children got to go with us, to see us off at the airport.

On the way to the airport, we listened to the radio--super loud, as always. And we got to hear so many songs that had become our favorites during our stay. There was one song that we heard so many times we nearly had it memorized. And, as that song came on the radio, all the children started singing along.

I can't describe the beauty of listening to those children, many of them scarred emotionally and physically by families who abandoned them, hearing those children whose hearts have ached so much more than I can ever imagine lift their voices in praise to God. I had to wonder if there is anything more beautiful than the sound of children singing to God. The sound of children who trust and believe, even though their lives should have taught them to trust and believe in nothing.

Maybe that beauty is what happens when God binds up the hearts of the afflicted. Maybe He gives them this ability to create a sound so beautiful it touches our hearts, lets us see Jesus in their eyes, makes us want to love them as God does.

Hurricane!

Hello, All!

Well, I just thought I'd let you know that I am safe here in Texas, despite the fact that the state is now a disaster area. Here in my area, things didn't get too bad. There were some trees uprooted and other good stuff like that, but, for the most part, the people (myself included) have been safe and unharmed. Gracias a Dios.

Right now, our area is just taking in people from places harder hit than we were, and it has been really amazing to see the outpouring of help coming from many good-hearted people. Churches are full of people needing a place to stay, and there are plenty of people there to meet them and help them get some food and some rest in the midst of this disaster. Again, gracias a Dios for putting such giving and loving people right here for such a time as this.

much love,

Sara

Old Hymns

I really love old hymns. There's just something so beautiful about their lyrics, always so poetic and rich with meaning. Sometimes I feel like I just need to sit and take in the lyrics, let them fill up my head so that I can think about them a little more, spend some time with them, fall in love with them a little bit.

I love them for their lyrics, but I also love them because they're a part of me. I grew up singing along with old hymns in church. My favorite as a child was "Shall We Gather at the River." It's traditionally a funeral song, so you can feel free to infer anything you'd like from that. All I know is that I loved to sing the words,

"Shall we gather at the river,
Where bright angel feet have trod,
With its crystal tide forever
Flowing by the throne of God?

Yes, we’ll gather at the river,
The beautiful, the beautiful river;
Gather with the saints at the river
That flows by the throne of God."

And why would we not gather by that river? Can you imagine anything more beautiful than that river with angels, so close to God? There's something in a song like that that just speaks to my soul, something that lets me think about Heaven and how beautiful it must be. And there's something about lyrics to old hymns that just feels as if they're crafted especially to fit into the spaces in our hearts that most need those words, the spaces that are aching to be comforted and awakened to the beauty and wonder of God.

An Entry for Today

A few years ago, I was thinking about my belief in God. I guess it wasn't just one, fixed moment in time, but a lot of little times when my thoughts turned in that direction. For whatever reason, though I rarely went to church and almost never prayed, there was something in me that would turn toward thinking about God in the odd moments of life.

A few years ago, I'd decided that I did, in fact, believe in God. But, I felt like God could not be proved. I could not know in any certain way, but I chose to believe. I chose to believe because I liked the idea of living in a world in which there was a God better than the idea of living in a world without God. And yet, there remained this question of God. There remained these moments in which I'd catch myself believing something (a moral, an ethic) so strongly but not having a way to understand why. Sometimes the tugging on my heart was so strong and so relentless.

At some point, I guess I started wondering if these odd tuggings on my heart had something to do with this God I could not prove. I started wondering if they had something to do with this God of whom I could never be certain. I started to wonder if there could be some sort of Truth, some sort of absolute amid all the uncertainty of life. Could there be something which could challenge me to greater things than I knew? Could there be someone who knew the plans he had for me--plans to prosper and not to harm, plans to give me hope and a future? Could that someone be God, and could I know Him, truly know Him?

Somehow, through grace and love and prayer, God showed me that He is real, that He is faithful and full of love. That His ways are not my ways, but that, through learning of His ways, there can be a newness, a rebirth of all things. I still prefer living in a world in which there is a God to living in one in which there is not. But, there is such a peace and and endless awe of knowing that He is real, that He is not just a God I have chosen to allow into my world, but that He is a God who has chosen, through His infinite love, to allow me into His world. And, because of that, I am forever blessed.