Saturday, October 06, 2007

Entering the Uncharted Territory of the Kitchen

It's confession time. I am a terrible cook. That is, I can make side dishes, appetizers, and...side dishes and appetizers. If there's a piece of meat to be cooked, I will ruin it. It will be a tasteless mess. I make one main dish. It's pasta with spinach pesto. Unfortunately, you can't make pasta with spinach pesto every night, unless you're looking to gain 50 pounds real quick!

On the flip side, I'm a pretty passable baker, but I can't do any fancy stuff. And, again, unless I'm on a gain weight diet, rather than a lose weight diet, I can't live on baked goods alone. Even though I wish I could. Can you imagine a diet that consisted of side dishes, appetizers, and baked goods? Oh my! That would be fabulous. I'd start with little quiches and my gorgonzola mashed potatoes; then I'd end with a big chunk of cheesecake. Unfortunately, such a diet would lead to me looking like a big chunk of cheesecake, and, much as I love cheesecake (especially my pumpkin cheesecake), it's just never been my goal to look like cheesecake.

That said, I have a goal to start cooking more. In part, it's because not cooking is really expensive. It's also a real waste of money, and I feel like I should be a better steward of money. So, cooking at home seems a good way to do that and a good way to learn a new and much needed skill. Also, I've always loved the part of Proverbs 31 that talks about the wife of noble character, but I've always had the convenient loophole of not being a wife. However, I think the verses are good for any woman because it talks about being a woman of good character and a woman who takes care of business.

Apparently, she also cooks. And, in that regard, I've been letting down my little family of Greta and, um, me. So, I've determined to turn over a new leaf and start cooking. I'll possibly even start cooking things that taste good! So, if anyone has any recipes they'd like to share, I will happily take them. In return, I will give you the recipe for my fantastic oatmeal cookies. I've taken them to Bible Study twice, and the ladies love them!

Happy Baking!

The Yummiest Oatmeal Cookies EVER!!!

Ingredients:

2 Sticks Butter, softened
1 Cup Brown Sugar
1/2 Cup Granulated Sugar
1 Egg
2-3 Egg Yolks (Definitely 2, but add an extra if the batter seems too dry)
1 TABLESPOON Vanilla
1 & 1/2 Cups Flour
1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
3 Cups Old-Fashioned Oats (Uncooked, please!)
1 Cup Raisins OR Chocolate Chips (I like raisins, but chocolate chips are tasty too!)
1 Cup Toasted Walnuts OR Pecans (Just throw them in the oven while it's heating. They should take about 10 minutes to toast, but keep an eye on them. Those things can burn fast!)

Directions:

Make cookies. Tuh! Oh, sorry. I'll be more specific!

1. Cream the butter. A spoon or a mixer will work, depending on how soft the butter is.
2. Add in the sugars and the vanilla. And then, cream some more! You're getting good at this now!
3. Add the egg and the egg yolks! Stir it up!
4. Add the flour, baking soda, and salt. Yum! Oh, wait, those aren't very tasty on their own.
5. Thrown in the fun stuff! Oatmeal, raisins, the nuts (which are hopefully tastefully toasted rather than nastilly burnt.). If you like more of any of the ingredients, like more raisins or more nuts, go for it! But, make sure to not put too much stuff in there, or the cookies will be nasty.

Now, put giant globs of cookie dough on the cookie sheet, and bake those for around 10 minutes at 350 degrees.

Then, take them out and eat them immediately. Okay, maybe not. Restrain yourself or else you will burn a hole through your tongue. And, after that, you'll never be able to see an oatmeal cookie without thinking of the trauma sustained while eating one. That's no fun! So, wait until they cool a little, and then enjoy them with a glass of milk. Make it organic milk; it's a lot better for you! ;)

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I am dying to make these now. Especially since I can read your directions while I cook. You should make a recipe book once you are done! It would be the funniest (and probably tastiest) one yet. You know - if I believed in reincarnation, I wouldn't mind coming back as cheesecake. That sounds quite delightful - I would be so adored - and completely irresistable. :P

Speaking of reincarnation (b/c it has oh so much to do with baking), my sister heard some comedian share a story about a trip on an airplane with an atheist. The atheist was sitting next to him and kept going on and on about how there was no God, and how Christianity was ridiculous, absurd, inane, etc. Finally, he mentioned that he believed in reincarnation and wanted to come back as a tree. The comedian thought to himself: Yeah, and then they'll cut you down, shave you up, make you into paper, and print the Bible on you! How's that for karma, buddy?! Hahahahahaha!!! That was so funny - I had to share!