Sunday, September 16, 2007

On Terriers and Papier Mache Feelings

One of my Philosophy professors used to tell stories during class. They were always interesting, much more interesting than having a regular lecture. One day he was telling us about his dog, a trusty terrier, and their adventures on a walk. It seems that this trusty terrier loved to chase squirrels. As the parent of a trusty terrier myself, I can attest that they love nothing more than the thrill of spotting a bushy-tailed squirrel and growling as if possessed. As small as my little Greta is, just seven pounds, even she gets overcome with, well, some sort of bloodthirsty rage it seems.

These dogs become so intent, so alert that it's an amazing thing to see; it's as if all of the energy of the little dog is focused on the squirrel. My professor remarked that, on seeing the dog's reaction to the squirrel, he felt like papier mache. What a good description.

I was just wondering, how much of our lives do we feel just like that--papier mache, nothing solid, no strength behind us, no connection to anything that makes us feel as alert as that terrier with a squirrel in sight? Sometimes, it seems like too much time is spent like that.

But, why? I mean, I've felt like papier mache an awful lot. I guess some of that feeling comes down to not having strong beliefs about much of anything, just feeling sort of adrift. It's not a good feeling to be feeling like that. You want something to grab onto, something that you're passionate about, something you're willing to both live and die for. That's what keeps us from feeling like papier mache.

So, I've been working on grabbing onto those beliefs and strengthening them, working to really live them. When there are beliefs you really stand for, you feel less like papier mache, more like you're solid and strong. I guess that part of this is feeling like there's something true in your life, something very real.

Oddly enough, the other day someone called me a radical, so I guess it's working. But, that seems funny. Me? A radical? I like baking cookies and buying lipgloss. But, even though it's weird, it's still good to hear. Perhaps I've spent too much time in Philippians lately and I've just stopped caring about being mild about things. Perhaps mild just isn't where it's at. Perhaps we all should be a bit radical. Perhaps I'll go take the radical terrier for a walk.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Well, all of us who know you well would have to say you've never been one we'd label as mild. You've always carried a hint of radical in you in my perception, but that is merely my perception - not much weight to be carried here, except that I've known you for nearly 30 years now, so I guess maybe it counts more than some. ;)

sara said...

Well, you're a bit radical yourself! Have you ever tried to not be radical? It just doesn't feel natural; you just feel like everything is out of place, really. So, I say that we should just embrace this radicalism. It's really the only option. So, stay strong! (Oh, you can't see this, but I'm doing a fist pump in the air. I think doing that makes us look like super-tough radicals!) :)

Unknown said...

Ok - I have no response. I am so totally cracking up right now!

sara said...

Yes! My goal has been reached! Total lack of response! (Another fist pump is needed now!)