Today I gave up on being cool. It was a struggle because I've been hoping for quite a while that I could hold onto some of that coolness I've always imagined myself to have. Perhaps I've been a bit misguided in ever assuming that I was cool to begin with. I certainly wasn't cool in high school, and I'm not really sure what counted as cool in college. But, I read cool books and listened to cool music and had cool opinions on things. I was a cool English major, which at least gave me cool stuff to talk about or think about.
None of that is gone, really. But, I feel like today was an official marker in the death of any coolness I might have once had. Today I joined a Bible study. At a Baptist church. A ladies Bible study at a Baptist church. I'm making cookies to take to tomorrow night's meeting.
Cookies. Ladies Bible study. Baptist church.
First off, anything with the word "ladies" in it is usually a little uncool, unless "ladies" is used in a funny, somewhat ironic sort of way. "Ladies" means things like Ladies Auxiliary Meetings, and there's nothing cool about chilling with the geriatric set and talking about missions while you chug sherbet punch and eat crunchy little cookies. Nope. It's not cool. Second off, I feel uncool because I'm doing this of my own free will. Yes, I'm heading off to ladies Bible study because I want to go. And maybe a little because I need to go.
I guess I'm feeling a little like Donald Miller when he talks about needing to be part of a community. I don't do community. I don't even like the word that much, and I even wrote a paper on my dislike of it. It was a pretty cool paper, in my opinion.
But that's just it. what he talks about is needing, not wanting, community. I feel like I need the ladies Bible study because one can't grow in a vacuum. In fact we're not even supposed to try. Spiritual growth requires learning from others and helping others to grow and learn as well.
As uncool as it is, ladies Bible study is a part of that. I never wanted to go to Bible study before because I didn't think it fit who I was. For a long time, I really wanted to find a God as cool as me. One that understood life in a more sophisticated, cosmopolitan way. A way that required very little effort on my part except for believing. Unfortunately, I found that that God just isn't out there. Or, perhaps I should say, I found that I could worship in that way, but it really only led to my worshipping myself. Any of you who know me can probably attest that I am good at that. I spend a lot of time spiffing up the outside of the Temple of Me with cool shoes and cool hair. Or, filling the inside with a lot of cool knowledge, being happy about being smart. But, in the end, none of that proved fulfilling. It didn't really feel so cool to realize that the end of it was just me.
So, as uncool as ladies Bible study is, I'm going to it. I hope it's every bit as uncool as I think it will be!
8 comments:
I have to say that I think, right now, you are the "coolest" you've ever been. I am quite proud to be your "totally uncool lady" friend. Ha! How's that for irony - 29 and ladies already! Oh well - maybe geriatic sherbet punch and crunchy cookies aren't that bad when you consider the company... Of course, that makes me wonder - if we're already members of that crowd, what will we be having by the time we look as geriatric as our company? Probably Metamucil-ade and pudding for the toothless. ;P
Secretly, I love little, crunchy cookies. One of my friends made fun of me. She said, "Those are the kind of cookies little old ladies bring to church." I thought, "Um, yeah. I LOVE them!!!"
I guess we can start being ladies now. Truly, you're right, the complany will be good, even if we have to be ladies. But being little and old is going to take a while!
Just think - I'll be older first (by a few months - for which you will be grateful when I hit the big 6-0 while you're still in your 50s) ;P! And it'll take you a little longer to walk like me - what with you being 5'5" and me only 5'2" (3 on a good day). :)
I have some shoes which make me about 5'8", so you'd better watch out. I plan to wear those far into old age! :) However, you will probably look about 15 for at least 20 more years!!! And, for that, I just can't forgive you!
So that is why I get such strange looks whenever I go somewhere with all my children, not to mention why people continually ask me, "are they all yours?" as if I somehow found them wandering on the side of the road and picked up strays just for kicks.
My sister and I both have this problem and we have decided that while it may not be the worst one to have RIGHT NOW, it will come back to bite us in the wrinkles. Eventually, what will happen is what does in that movie "CLICK" with Adam Sandler and old age will quite literally hit us overnight and we'll look more pooped out than everyone else, our only hoping being that some nursing home somewhere will take pity on us and desperately need the money, so they will allow us in. Otherwise, well, let's just not think about that!
I completely recommend picking up stray children at stores and such. That is, in fact, my plan for building a large family. Stray kids. Even if, while I'm picking them up they're yelling, "NO! Don't take me! My mommy's just over in housewares!" I plan on taking them anyways. That way, I can have a big family without having to actually give birth too many times. I just can't imagine taking off the weight a bunch of times, so kidnapping seems like my only viable option.
I am laughing so hard right now!!!
You act like I was joking or something! Seriously, all I've got's a little dog right now, and I think she'd like some company!
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