A Favorite Hymn

I am a huge fan of liturgy and old hymns. I know I'm not supposed to be because I'm young(ish) and supposed to want church to be hip and cool. Though, the fact that I just used those two words probably means that I'm neither of them. But, nonetheless, there's just something about the lyrics of old hymns that makes you stop and think. And, there's something about the melodies that just makes you want to belt out the songs.

But, one of my favorite hymns isn't like that at all. In fact, it's more like a prayer. It's more like a prayer that's really difficult to pray and also to mean.

Here are the lyrics:

"Spirit of God, descend upon my heart;
Wean it from earth; through all its pulses move;
Stoop to my weakness, mighty as Thou art;
And make me love Thee as I ought to love.

I ask no dream, no prophet ecstasies,
No sudden rending of the veil of clay,
No angel visitant, no opening skies;
But take the dimness of my soul away.

Teach me to feel that Thou art always nigh;
Teach me the struggles of the soul to bear.
To check the rising doubt, the rebel sigh,
Teach me the patience of unanswered prayer.

Hast Thou not bid me love Thee, God and King?
All, all Thine own, soul, heart and strength and mind.
I see Thy cross; there teach my heart to cling:
O let me seek Thee, and O let me find!

Teach me to love Thee as Thine angels love,
One holy passion filling all my frame;
The kindling of the heaven descended Dove,
My heart an altar, and Thy love the flame."

It's a rough one to sing and really mean, right? I mean, you're basically asking for the hard stuff. You're asking for God to teach you by making your life difficult. You're asking, really asking for God to take you and do what He will with your life. That's a hard prayer to pray. But, then again, isn't that just the prayer that we often need?

Don't we often need for things to be as terrible, as desperate as they can be before we ever search for the reason that they're so bad? My mother often says that sometimes things have to get to their absolute worst before we ever think to look up. I always fought looking up, seriously hardened and calloused myself against it, purposely looked down or straight ahead rather than ever humbling myself enough to finally look up to see who I should be looking to.

It's hard to admit to having the weakness that this song speaks of and sometimes harder still to quiet the rebelliousness that selfishness fosters. This song asks for no sign in return, just the ability to love God enough. It's easy to believe that we love God enough, but this song says so well that we need to be taught to love even more, as much as the angels, and that even our hearts must cling to the cross, the symbol of true love.

So, this song is very special to me because that's just what it talks about. When I read these words, they remind me of what I should be doing--humbling myself, asking to be given the difficult tasks, looking to God, and giving all that I have to live the life I'm supposed to be living. It's not easy. Sometimes it's not even fun. But there is joy, and there is love.