A Valentine for You

Valentine's Day is over. It always seems a little sad when those heart-shaped boxes of chocolates are moved to a big pile, shoved off to make room for the next holiday, reduced for quick sale. I know it's not popular to like Valentine's Day. It's commercial. It's fake. It's just plain silly.

But, I do love Valentine's Day. I love seeing people happy. I love that people take a day to be kind to each other. I love that people give each other flowers and that even little kids scrawl their names on little cards for each other. I love that there is one day when we hear the word "love" most everywhere we go.

My mom used to say that I was like my dad. Not given to too much emotion. Not one to cry too much, if at all. And, that's a pretty fair assessment. I don't like to cry. I don't like people to see me cry. I don't like people to ask me how I'm feeling. And when they do, I usually lie. There's a certain expression that I feel my face make whenever I'm about to cry. It's a serious, almost angry face.

I felt that earlier this evening when went to work out. Oddly enough, I'd been thinking about Valentine's Day, about why I like it so much. And I realized that I love Valentine's Day because, as a ridiculous idealist, it's how I want to see people treat each other. I love Valentine's Day because there's something so beautiful about its spirit, even if it's a bit tinged by commercialism.

And, I love it because, though I am an idealist, I've dealt with and seen a lot of very realistic heartache in my life, and there's something about Valentine's Day that gives me hope that we can love each other. Because when I think about some of the things I've seen and lived through, there is so much that I don't know how to fix.

I see her, struggling with the abuse brought on by a relative, the sister who took the bulk of the abuse. Sometimes during dinner she just stares off, and I know that she is somewhere very painful. I see him, killing himself with drugs, self-medicating and trying to overcome the demons in his heart and mind. Trying to find some sort of escape. Never sleeping and never eating. And I see the many students I've taught, young people who deal with unimaginable pain, but hide it so well under such bright, beautiful smiles.

I see all of that. And I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to make any of it better. I don't know how to fix all of the hurts that I see, and I know that there are countless more hurts that I don't see.

So, all of this was going around in my head as I tried to make it through my usual workout. I felt the serious, angry face coming on. I felt something. Was that sweat? Was it a tear? Was it both?

There are times when even those of us who aren't prone to crying end up completely losing it. Perhaps it's my own fault. There was a time when I prayed that I would love others as Christ does, and it seems that those prayers have caught up with me. Love like that can hurt. And, even though there are so many hurts that I can't fix, I will keep trying. Keep loving. Keep making an effort to give love when I can.

Happy belated Valentine's Day, everyone. I love you all.

Oh, and as a Valentine, please enjoy this video. I loved it.