At one point, I became a runner. Now, I never would have thought I'd say that. When I was growing up, my least favorite day of the week was Wednesday. At my school, that day was known as "Running Wednesday," as it was the day that all we did was run during P.E. class.
I hated it. Hated it.
There's no nicer way to put it. I absolutely hated "Running Wednesday." It wasn't even a good name, really. I mean, seriously, couldn't there have been something more clever, perhaps even alliterative? I suppose not, as there aren't any days of the week that begin with the letter R. Which is just fine with me. I just turned every "Running Wednesday" into a "Walking Wednesday" anyways. See, "Walking Wednesday" is clever, alliterative, memorable. Running Wednesday was just a beating.
Yet somehow, I became a runner a couple of years ago. In truth, I haven't been doing so much running lately, but I'm no longer scared of it or feel burdened by it. I no longer think of running as pure torture; instead, I think of running as something that I want to get back into, something that makes me feel good when I'm doing it, when I'm in the practice of running regularly. And since I haven't been running, I feel like there's something missing.
But, even though I love running, I don't really think of myself as a disciplined runner. I never wear a watch; I never want to figure out how fast I can run a certain distance. When I'm really into running, I want to run everyday, and I want to push myself to run just a little more than I think I can. But, I don't do that because I feel like I have to; I do it because I really want to.
I never thought I'd actually want to run. I guess I always just thought of it as something you did to avoid getting yelled at by a coach or to keep from gaining weight. It just always seemed that there was some sort of punishment attached to not running, and I never thought about what good things could come of running.
Similarly, I always thought of the negatives of not going to church, not reading the Bible, not praying, not following all the rules of Christianity. And those were always way worse than getting yelled at by a P.E. coach or getting fat. But I never thought about the good that could come from Bible reading and such, and I never thought of how those things could become a part of me, a part of who I am and who I see myself becoming.
I guess I mean to say that, at a certain point, I just fell in love with it all, like I did with running. And, that whole falling in love thing isn't something I expected. It's not even something I wanted, quite honestly. And yet, it happened. Because that's how love happens sometimes. It happens when you least expect it, often when you least want it. But I did fall in love with it all, and suddenly prayer and reading my Bible and going to church just made sense because I wanted to feel closer to God. I really just wanted to follow Him, to know more about Him.
There are times, in running, when what keeps me going is thinking of the negative effects of stopping--knowing that I'll feel like I've let myself down, knowing that I can't work off that last piece of chocolate cake if I don't run. But, that won't keep me going for too long. If there weren't some sort of love for running, I'd never put on a pair of running shoes and go outside. It just wouldn't occur to me to even do it. And, if there weren't some sort of love for God, I don't think it would occur to me to pray, to read my Bible, to go to church, to pay attention to any of the rules.
It is that love that makes me press on toward the goal.
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