Loving Jesus

Here is another poem by Jude Simpson:



Okay, so now you've seen it. May I just say that this poem makes me really, really uncomfortable? It probably makes me more uncomfortable than it should, but it does, nevertheless, make me uncomfortable.

You see, I think love is just about the most difficult thing in the world. I have a hard time loving people, and, truth be told, I rarely even like people most of the time. People are annoying. They get in the way of my doing whatever it is I want to do, and sometimes, I even have to plan my life around their lives. And, I've even heard that sometimes, to truly be loving to people, you have to do things that they want to do, even if you don't want to do them. To me, that sounds insane. Why would I do something I didn't want to do? More importantly, why would I love someone who didn't just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it?

I never promised I was a good person, people. I only promise to be honest. And, honestly, I like people pretty much until they get annoying, invade my space, let me know that they haven't a clue about anything, or otherwise prove themselves inept. Yes, I told you I'm not all that nice. But I am honest.

So, what is an unloving person to do? I suppose that when we look for answers, we try to go to the source whenever possible. I'm writing a paper on Wittgenstein right now, so, if I want to know what he has to say, I go to my book and read it because he is the source of those words. But, what if I want to learn about love? How do I learn about that? I guess the best thing to do is go to the source.

If I believe that God is love, which I do, then I guess the only way to learn about love is to consult the One who created it. And, the Bible has a lot to say about love. I can learn that love is patient, kind, all of those good things. But I am none of those things. So, if I know what love is but possess none of those traits, how can I learn to really love?

I guess the answer is that I cannot. After all, love is one of the fruits of the Spirit, and it is only through the Holy Spirit that I can really learn what love is. Remember the fruit of the Spirit?

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law" (Galatians 5:19-23).

Isn't it interesting that the other fruits of the Spirit can all be seen as things which could describe what we would consider to be true and pure love? How do we learn those things if not through the Spirit? Personally, I'm not good with any of those things on my own. Perhaps other people are better than I am, but I just can't do it. I'm far too focused on myself to worry about being patient and kind, let alone exerting anything resembling self-control.

So, I understand that love comes from the Spirit, but where do I gain access to the Spirit? I guess this is where 1 John 4: 7-19 comes in:

"7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

13We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19We love because he first loved us."

We love because He first loved us. Our only way to love is through Him. Because of Him. And, without Him, there is no love. Without Him, there is no way for me to love, to even comprehend what love is. And, so, I need God in order to truly love, but I can't learn it on my own. I have to accept His gift of love. That's the only way, really--to accept the gift of God's love, made possible through the Holy Spirit and the atoning sacrifice of Christ.

I have to admit, I'm still not anymore comfortable with the poem. In truth, I think it's wonderful--so full of understanding about Christ's love for us and His deep desire that we will love Him, come to Him in good times and in bad, pray to Him. But, what it comes down to is He wants us to let Him love us.

And, that's the hard part. Just letting Jesus love me. I'm not sure why. But it is. I guess I don't get it. I want to do something. Prove myself in some way. Go through a lot of motions. Spend a lot of time talking about God. But never really say the name Jesus. Why is that the hard part?

I guess because that's when it gets personal. That's when it means something. That's when I really have to relate. It's a hard thing, but maybe it's worth it. After all, there are worse things than being loved.