Plenty to go Around

Yesterday, I made a big pot of beans and a pan of cornbread. It was the first time in my life I'd made this meal, and, being a Texan, the fact that I'd gone 29 years without making a big pot of beans and a pan of cornbread was nothing short of inexcusable. Because I'd grown up with that meal, I knew there was nothing more comforting than sitting down to a bowl of beans and a piece of buttered cornbread.

So, if I knew how comforting it was, why on earth did it take me 29 years to make it? Well, part of it is that I don't really cook. And, a big part of my not cooking is that it's no fun to cook for one person. It's a lot of work, and, at the end of all that work, there's nobody to look at you and tell you how tasty it is. I've got plenty of other good reasons not to cook. I'd always thought I'd cook when I had people to cook for. I'd cook when I had a nicer kitchen. I'd cook when I had better pots and pans. I'd cook when I had more time.

In short, I was waiting until the conditions were right. But, think about this. I was waiting until all the conditions were right before I allowed myself to do something I really wanted to do, before I allowed myself to have the life I wanted.

And, the thing is, it wasn't just cooking. I was waiting until conditions were right before I became a regular church attendee, waiting to become a volunteer, waiting on having people over for dinner. These were all things I thought might be good and even fun to do, but I kept waiting on them as if they had to be done at a certain time. Unfortunately, I was also waiting on them because they didn't seem important enough to start doing right now, as if my life right now wasn't important enough to really live. It just makes me wonder how much of our lives are spent waiting, and I wonder how many things we miss out on because of that.

A few months ago, I went to New York for a conference. As an added bonus, I got to catch up with some friends from grad school. In between discussion of rock bands from the 1980's, my friend Brad always has smart things to say. He's a rhetorician, so that's sort of his job.

Anyways, he was talking about the John Mayer song, "Waiting on the World to Change." I'm not a huge fan of John Mayer, but Brad wasn't concerned about the song's musical merit. Rather, he was concerned about its message. You see, the basic message of the song is that the world is really messed up by all sorts of problems and things we can't control. The solution? We're waiting on the world to change.

I hadn't really listened to the song closely, just enough to know that it's actually pretty catchy. But, the more I thought about it, the more I thought Brad had reason to worry about the popularity of that song. You see, the problem is that change doesn't happen if all we do is sit back, accept the circumstances, and wait for change to come. This is true of problems in the world and problems in our lives. If we want change to happen, we have to make it happen, and when we stop waiting for change and start making changes, it's surprising the things that can happen, the things we can learn.

I've seen this happen in my own life. For years, I thought I wasn't a Bible Study person. In truth, I wasn't even much of a church person. I really only liked churches with a strict liturgy because they kept religion nice and distant; I didn't have to worry about all that "relationship" stuff I'd heard people talking about. I was too smart to actually need God to be a part of my life. It was enough that I occasionally showed up at church to take part in some service that made me feel good but didn't challenge me to wonder if I had any right to feel as good as I did.

But, eventually, I got over my ego and went to Bible Study. I say "ego" because it was really nothing but stubborness, selfishness, and pride. I went there because I finally knew I needed God, needed Him so much that I thought I might lose everything, including my mind, if I didn't start looking for Him. So, I went to the Baptist church for Bible Study.

Sure, it was a blow to my pride to show up at a Baptist church in need. I felt like all those poor souls I'd listened to giving their testimonies over all those years I'd spent in Baptist churches. And, it doesn't make you feel very proud to know that, because of your need, you're in the company of people who've lived through all manner of horror in their lives. It's hard to feel proud when you're in need, but I was. But, the thing is, in going to Bible Study, I've learned a lot while in the company of some of the sweetest ladies you'll ever meet.

I've learned that religion isn't as important as relationship. It's something I have to remind myself of all the time, but it's starting to make sense. And, when I started to seek a relationship with God, the focus of my attention changed. I lost focus on all the things my life lacked, and I started to see how much I'd been given. Instead of focusing on how God could help me, I started wondering how He could use me to help others. I began to understand the truth of Luke 12:48,

"For unto whom much is given: of him shall be much required."

All that I have, all those things of which I've been so proud, are gifts that should be used in a way that will honor the Giver. Wouldn't it honor the Giver more if I stopped seeing those gifts as things that should bring glory only to me? Wouldn't it honor the Giver more if I quit waiting for the right circumstances to use my gifts?

When you're given a gift, you don't wait to use it. You want to use it right away. And, the gratitude you have for the gift shows the Giver that you're happy with what you have, not that you're concentrating on what you don't have. At some point, we all must choose to use our gifts, despite the circumstances we're in. We must create the change we wish to see in our world and in our lives. We have to do those things, both simple and difficult, as if the doing of all things will give honor and glory to the One who has given us so much.

We shouldn't worry that our gifts are not enough, that our lives are not enough as they are. Just like my big pot of beans, there is plenty to go around, and there are sure to be leftovers because God never stops giving. Living our lives as fully and gloriously as we can, even in the hard times, can be that thing which gives our lives meaning and hopefully the comfort that we all crave. It's a wonder that we wait to do this.